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29 Years old and ….
Well my son is now totally healed and I am earning a substantial salary monthly!
Everything turned out just fine :-)
All my friend s are so rebellious .. Having fun, drinking, motorcycles, loud music, fast cars and just enjoying life.
Doing modelling, beauty competitions … life is great!
All of a sudden my heart starts beating faster that it can handle! I feels as if I am going to die!! I know 
if this keeps on my heart is going to snap!! It cannot beat faster … I know … I have over dosed!! Oh God help!!
I see Satan walking towards me … His is coming to fetch me … I am going straight to hell .. He is wearing a black hood and his eyes are bloodshot red …
My heart is still going at 200 beats per minute … I am going to die!!! My heart is going to stop!!! It is going to snap! The muscles cannot keep up with this!
A voice like thunder enters my mind! I see a bible as big as the horizon … a thumb flipping it open
… the voice says thundering … THIS IS WHAT YOU LIVE ACCORDINGLY … FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE END!!!
I see a newspaper… I am on the front page .. My son and Mom and grandmother is on it as well … the heading:
MOM DIES OF OVERDOSE … SON STAYS ALONE BEHIND!
I AM DEAD!
No God!! Please deliver me from the evil one!! …
Immediately the palpitations stop! God saved me! 
I must get back to Mom … living in Johannesburg is going to kill me!
….. my son is now 13 years old

With a shock I found out that he is on drugs! 
…. Why? … why is he so rebellious? 
…. For 7 years …. Up to the age of 20 … he is still on it … all his friends say he has issues ….
"Mom … I want my Dad" … I hear that more than once … "Mom where is my Dad!!!"
My heart breaks every time my sons asks me …. "I am so sorry Babes!!!" 
He is broken … searching for his Dad … Where can you find a man that you have not had contact
with for decades???
The more my son asks where is his Dad … the more I see how broken he is … of hurt … of not having a
Father in his life …
How could I ever think that I can be the Father and the Mother!!?? 
God made male and female for a reason …. Now I am learning all these things after I have ruined my life and
my sons life and  … also my sons children's life … if things do not change drastically!!!
                                         
God help!! How can my sons find his Dad?
Please help my son God … he is broken … he needs a Father!! And he needs You Lord!!!
We have been so lost our hole life Lord … so lost … and just because of one mistake I made when I was
young and I loved being rebellious!!
Now I see what that rebellion did to my life, the man that I loved so much's life and my precious son's Life …
 if only I listened to Mom and DAD!!

Help my God … Please help my Son God!!! Please God!!! Please!!!!